"When there is NOTHING left but GOD, God is ENOUGH.
" Throwing my dirty laundry in my little black sports car, I rattled my brain thinking about the assignment of reading. (Another assignment to read directly from the Bible.) Geez!!! Is there nothing more exciting??? What kind of history lesson is this?? Why did I ever sign up for this Humanities course anyway??? Damn! Where are my shoes?? Here's one. Good enough. It's just the weekend in Bisbee, to the place I called HOME, where I MATTERED, where I was SAFE, and LOVED no matter what.
The drive wasn't bad that weekend. The Arizona sunset was like no other, but my mind was too busy that evening, with my teenage pressures and worries; my GPA, friends and endless assignments. The brisk November air coming in thru my sun roof. So glad I had enough gas to make the trip to see my parents. How fragile they seem. When did they become human? What if?
Nevermind. Approaching the Bisbee tunnel a good song played on the stereo. (Ah the tunnel.... )This is the part where I hold my breath. It's a piece of cake now. (1, 2, 3 inhale.......whew... exhale........) I'm nearly home.
"Hey Dad! Look I even washed my car on the way home and did the wheels!" His eyes shined as he heard me talk, but they seemed so glazy and a bit distant. My mother, eight years younger than my father, still SEXY and TOUGH as ever. Yet tonight her face looked gaunt and for the first time in my life, she looked tired.
Still, she sat up with me that night and listened to me. For the first time, she LET me talk straight from my heart. She never had time for that romantic/squishy stuff. When I was in high school, I told her, "I love you MOM." She said, "Of course you do!! I am your Mother!! Now, get to bed!! ( Man! She was only five foot seven. Being raised in Chicago sure had its effect on her. She's mean like "Leroy Brown". I love that song.)
Strangely, tonight was different. Mom wanted to hear all about school and my life. We TALKED and I read to her the book of JOB. She LET me tell her about a man that had lost everything; his home, his family, his health. He LOST everything, but his FAITH in God, and "God was enough." Mom didn't say much this time. She let me find my own answers. She had taught me all she had the time for, in 19 years.
Sunday I packed my clean clothes, looked at my pom pon's on my bedroom wall, re-aligned my collection of chapsticks, made my bed, kissed my Dad and walked into the kitchen. Without FEAR, for the first time, I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I love you Mom." Courageously, I hugged her at that kitchen stove, where I hugged her every morning as a child. It was quite a brave thing to do that day, as it just wasn't something that NEEDED to be said. I was just supposed to know. However, this time......this time, she LET me say it. She LET me hug her GOODBYE.
